


Miserably in Love

by TheDarkOne_21



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Best Friends, F/M, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, Secret Crush, Unrequited Love, secretly gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:58:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8268436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkOne_21/pseuds/TheDarkOne_21
Summary: 3 years ago Ciel left the east coast for a California university in order escape his family for a few years, but now his father's making him move back for his senior year. He plans to cushion this blow by moving in with his best friend since middle school and very straight crush, Sebastian Michaelis. The problem? No one except his cousin knows he's gay and Ciel's determined to keep it that way.  [Summary to be updated when I can figured out something better] [ON HOLD]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trying my hand at a longer story. I have the plot written out from beginning to end so I'm not expecting too much writers block on this one. Also this is more of a introduction than a chapter so my chapters will not be as short as this one and  
> I also have no clue as to how long this story might be, but it'll probably be at least 15 chapters.

Beautiful morning light filtered through the dark blue curtains adorning the only window. Birds were chirping in the spring air and laughter could be heard on the sidewalk below. The picture only made complete by a scowling blue-eyed boy with tousled hair, thin, bare chest showing and a slight hangover, sitting up in his queen sized bed ready to murder whoever had just woken him up from his beauty sleep.  
He quickly realized the culprit was the generic shrill of his cell phone ringing. The man got out of bed snatching his phone off the nightstand and put on some pajama pants before walking into the living room of his apartment, not caring who it was he answered the phone with a short

“What.”

“Already pissed off, are you Ciel?” an amused timbre answered with a chuckle

Ciel immediately realized who it was and couldn’t find in himself to be upset anymore.

“Sorry Sebastian I just woke up”

“Just woke up? it’s like 2pm”

“Ya well it’s just before 11 here in California.” 

“Shit I forgot again. Still you’re not usually up that late anyways. Or did you get lucky last night?” Ciel could practically imagine Sebastian’s shit eating grin on the other end of the phone. 

“Ya actually I did. That reminds me I have to kick them out after this call”

“So…. What’s this chicks name? And is she hot now as much as she was last night?” The bluenette mentally cringed at the she part of the question.

“I guess they’re still good looking it wasn’t like I was that drunk, and I didn’t really get their name” 

Lie, but it wasn’t like Ciel could tell Sebastian he slept with someone named Arthur. 

 

“Anyways since you’re already up…. You texted me last night saying you needed to ask me something”

“Umm ya, so you know how my father has been trying to get me to transfer to a university a little closer to home? Well even though it’s past the deadline he pulled some strings and guess where I’ve been approved to go next semester for senior year?”

“Hmm I have a pretty good idea. Did you miss me that much?” Sebastian teased “Besides wasn’t the whole point of you moving to California so you could get a break from your family?”

“You know how my dad is. He thinks I’ve been away long enough and thinks I need to learn more about Funtom first hand. Not like I haven’t been learning the family business since I was a toddler or anything. Why were you enjoying your time away from me?” Ciel’s tone suggested he was kidding, but he was actually worried about the answer than he showed.

“C’mon Ciel you know I’ll never get tired of you” Ciel’s heart swelled at the words. He silently shook his head and shoved the feeling down.

“Good because here’s my question. Do you think that maybe you'll have any room for me to move in with you?” His heart pounded at the question. The anxiety and fear of being rejected rushed through his veins.

But alas he had nothing to worry about. 

“That works perfectly! I’ve been checking out some two bedroom apartments for next year and this girl I’ve been sleeping with found out and has been trying to convince me to let her move in with me next semester. She says she can add a woman’s touch or something, but now I have an actual excuse to say no. Best friend since middle school needing a place to stay will trump any argument she brings up. Besides I was thinking about breaking things off anyways.” 

“Thanks so much Sebastian. You know my father will be watching me more closely now that I’m going to be living 30 minutes away and you make a good cushion.” 

“You always did use me as a buffer between you and your parents”

“Ya well as much trouble as we got into in high school they still like you”

“They liked me because I was your only friend and I sometimes was able to get you out of the house”

“Shut up, you only started out as my friend because my parents were worried I wasn’t being social enough and I had to get them off my back and you were an easy target, besides I had Elizabeth” Despite his harsh words Ciel couldn’t stop the goofy grin that spread across his face. 

“She’s your cousin you were obligated to hang out with her. Go kick out your one night stand. We can work out the details of the apartment when you come back home for summer break in couple months. I have to go.”

“Ugh fine. Talk to you later” 

Ciel moved his phone away from his face and pressed the red ‘end call’ button with a quick tap of his finger. Even though he was elated to be moving in and seeing Sebastian he couldn’t help but feel moving in with his biggest crush would be the biggest mistake of his life. Especially since the straight Sebastian could never love him back in the way he loved him. He worried how the raven haired man might react to the fact he was gay, but he figured having Sebastian close and living a lie would be better than no Sebastian at all.

The dark haired boy threw his phone on his couch with a short thud before letting out a long sigh. 

Time to go get Arthur out of his bed.


	2. Background

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first few chapters will probably come out in somewhat short succession. After that I'm hoping to update every week or two. I'd feel really guilty if I didn't update after more than a month, so I won't do that unless something happens in my life.

Summer had come and gone. Parents had been visited. Family vacations taken. Arrangements for the new school year made. It was now late August and back to school session was in full swing.

Sebastian had found both of them a nice 1,300 square foot apartment within walking distance of the university. At first the raven was concerned about how he’d be able to pay his half of the monthly rent on top of food and other necessities, but when Mr. Phantomhive had found out that Ciel was planning on living with Sebastian, the older man called told the raven to find whatever would suit their needs and he would pay for everything. At first Sebastian adamantly declined, not wanting to take advantage of his best friend’s family’s generosity, but Vincent Phantomhive was a businessman and within a week was able to wear Sebastian down enough to accept the offer by negotiating that the younger furnish the public living spaces. This worked out well since Sebastian had already had furniture from the previous year.

Despite them constantly talking and texting, Ciel had never actually  _ seen _ Sebastian all summer. Sebastian had gone off on some kind of road trip for most of June. The blunette had been invited but his father had been insistent that he spend a few weeks observing and shadowing Funtom employees. 

In July, Ciel and his whole family went on vacation to some obscure island while the other man started his training as a bartender in the city. It seemed as though there was never a time to meet.

The upcoming weekend was moving day and they both were excited to be reunited. They hadn’t seen each other since the previous summer. 

Ciel currently laid spread eagle upon his quilted blankets. He wore a red polo with khaki shorts, hair haloing his head on the bedding below. The man had missed the comforts of home while away. Having his parents near by, someone to clean his room for him, someone to do his laundry, gourmet meals, getting to choose between different cars, having servants to order around, being able to go on long walks in the privacy of his own property. Ok maybe he just missed his parents money and all the privileges that go with it. 

“Just 2 more days” Ciel’s breathy whisper breaking the silence of the bedroom. “What am I a teenage girl? I can deal with my stupid little crush. Hopefully I’ll finally be able to move on when I realize Sebastian’s just as straight as he was before.” His crush wasn’t debilitating. He didn’t pine over the man every waking second or constantly wonder what the other was doing at any given moment. The crush also didn’t stop him from going out or sleeping with men and he didn’t look for Sebastian in everyone he saw intimately.

It was more like a noise in the back of his head. A silent wish. One he had come to terms with the fact it would never happen, but still it would be nice. 

Ciel hadn’t figured out until late high school that he was actually gay and he didn’t embrace it until he went to college all the way across the country. Far from his parents and far from Sebastian. At first he chose to believe his fantasies of Sebastian doing extremely lewd and perverted things to him were just his hormone fueled imagination projecting itself on the one person he was close with, that he wasn’t related to. This worked for a little while but he soon realized while watching porn (he was after all a teenage boy) that he was getting off more on the male physique than the female’s. Infact close up shots on the female anatomy could make him lose his erection dramatically. 

This epiphany happened sometime during the beginning of junior year. He was absolutely horrified and quickly suppressed any and all homosexual urges. Ciel tried his damn best to act as masculine as possible. It wasn’t as if he was flamboyant in the first place, but he did every ‘manly’ thing he could think of and made sure to get rid of anything stereotypically gay. He started calling guys bro, joined the basketball team, put less effort into his wardrobe, talked lower, and flirted with girls even though it made him very uneasy.

Sebastian was the first to notice these changes. Ciel still remembered that day... 

 

The 16 year old boys were hanging out in Ciel’s bedroom watching some action movie with lots of shooting and blood at about 1 in the morning on a saturday just as they were abdt to do. The black haired boy sat on the floor with his back against the bed and the other laid on his stomach on the bed. When the movie ended Sebastian immediately grabbed the remote and paused the credit screen. 

He looked up towards the smaller boy and very gave a very serious

“Ciel?”

“Yes….?”

“You’ve been acting weird lately.”

Ciel’s heart pounded inside his scrawny chest. Had Sebastian figured out his secret?

“What do you mean?” he responded carefully trying to play off the question and not wanting to give any information away.

“You joined the basketball team.”

“So?”

“You hate sports”

“Hmph. I’m tired so I’m going to bed” Ciel rolled over and made himself comfortable under the thick blankets. Sebastian wasn’t usually the one to bring up sensitive topics, but he always seemed to make exceptions for Ciel. His parents were usually busy with either the business or just regular socialite things and it wasn’t the place of the servants to point out the boy’s change of interests. His reasoning was, if he didn’t nobody else would

“You shouldn’t change yourself in order to impress others. As cheesy as it sounds it’s true.”

“I know that!” The smaller boys exclamation came out muffled due to the pillow he had stuffed his face into. He didn’t need Sebastian giving him cliche life advice.

“I just telling you that I’ll always be your friend no matter what. Except maybe if slept with my girlfriend or something…. But even then I’ll probably forgive you, because she was probably a hoe anyways”

Even though Ciel was positive a situation like that would never happen, he still appreciated the sentiment. 5 years later and Sebastian was true to his words. This would be a good year, he would make sure of it.  _ Maybe I’ll even be able to tell him I’m gay…. _

 

\----------------

 

The weekend came quickly. It was now early afternoon that friday and Ciel was all packed to go by the front doors of the grand foyer. His mother waited with him while a servant pulled his car around. The boy’s father had already said his goodbyes earlier that morning before he had gone off to work. Next to him sat 2 large suitcases. There wasn’t much need to bring much else since his home would be so nearby and he didn’t have to worry about the furnishing.

“Ciel darling you know you can come home anytime if you need something, but don’t come home too often you are gone after all” Rachel Phantomhive lovingly patted her only child’s cheek. A bittersweet smile spread across her face.

“Have you forgotten that I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself for 3 years in California” A raised eyebrow finished off his statement. He might be a grown man but his mother still loved to coddle (smother) him. “Besides I’m only 30 minutes away, 60 max with traffic. Anyways I have Sebastian”

“Oh that reminds me! Bring that boy home with you if you ever decide to visit. It has been far too long since I’ve seen him. He practically grew up in this house, and I’m sure he has grown into a fine young man just like my own baby boy.” Rachel clasped her hand together close to her breast and tilted her head so her wheat colored hair framed her face. Even Ciel could admit she was a vision. “And don’t think I forgot your first semester away from home mister! If I recall correctly you had called me asking if you just bleached all of your clothes then did you have to buy laundry detergent. Oh and how about the time-”

“Oh look the car is here! C’mon mom let’s hurry and load the car, I want to get going” As fun as it was to relive memories, Ciel wasn’t eager to be reminded of his ignorance. 

His mother just smiled and accepted her son’s interruption, helping with a single suitcase with wheels.

After shoving a suitcase into the backseat Ciel jumped into the driver’s seat of his white Lexus. Putting the car in drive he gave one last wave to his mother before driving off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter was originally going to be the one where Ciel and Sebastian see each other again, but I felt like I needed to include some background and with the way things were heading it would be better to stop here before I start those scenes.


	3. Author's note

Hey readers! I thought I would just let you all know that I decided I'm not going to update as I write and instead I'm going to write out majority of the story and then post it at intervals. This is because my life has suddenly become a shit show and I haven't the motivation to write most days anymore. I do not plan to leave this uncompleted though.

Thank you all!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos, comments, and subscribe for this gives me much motivation to write more. Thanks for reading!


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